♥ My Complicated Life

♥ Sunday, May 24, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

My phone gone crazy.
need to change a new phone,
but have to wait until the contract ends...
which is like long long long time later.
dunno if my phone can last till then...
*prays*

watch a lot of movies and drama recently.
haha.
dunno what's wrong with me...
watched "Taken" with pearl,
"Angel & Demon" with polar and gangs,
watch "Attention Please",
"1 litre of tears",
"shopping heros",
and a lot more.
many of the drama are rewatched,
so i don't really want rewrite so many.
haha...

i wouldn't be at home for the next three days.
will only be back home on wednesday night...
will miss my lappy,
since i finally decided not to bring it there,
coz i don't think i have the mood or time to do homework anyway.
e-learning week this coming week,
but still need to go to school for 4 days..
sianz...
common test coming soon...
hope i don't do too badly.
>.<

♥ My World My Life

5:46 PM

♥ Monday, May 18, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

I rewatch the whole 11 episode of 1 litre of tears this morning.
didn't sleep whole night,
just keep watching.
didn't know this is the which time i watch this show,
but no matter how many times i watch,
i will cry to every eipsode,
especially from episode 3 onwards.
whenever i am feeling down,
or upset,
i will start watching this.
i will look at how aya overcome all the problems she faced in her life,
and how use her courage to face her terminal disease.
i will think,
all my troubles and problems don't exist at all.
in fact,
it is nothing compared to what aya had faced.
i should stop grumbling,
stop complaining,
coz someone might be having a even harder time than me,
and they did not have the chance to complain.

To all the peeps who never watch or read 1 litre of tears before,
i strongly recommend this drama.
it is adopted from a real life story,
a girl called Aya,
and story was from her diary.

♥ My World My Life

8:35 AM

♥ Sunday, May 17, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Konichiwa!

these few days are long day for me,
fly here fly there de.
haha.
went out with pearl,
one night tour around supreme court,
eat sakae sushi,
a lot of things.
haha.
but i will only talk about this two days,
since it is still fresh in my memory,
the rest i forget most of the part le.
haha

-160509-
yesterday morning go school film for CLAW.
in the end,
everyone,
including me are late.
haha.
chit chat and slack very long before we start.
piggy help shine and me "smuggle" bubbletea and hotdog to the room,
coz me and shine hungry.
i going fatter lor,
all those irregular lifestyle and non-stop eating.
haha.
the librarian came up and tell us we need to register or something like that for filming and taking photos.
zzzz.
in my one year in NP,
i never heard or done something like that.
i don't anyone knows also.
we all just go,
and take the videos and photos lor.
after filming all the various parts,
we go to funan to get piggy's laptop.
she in the end never buy the acer we saw the other day,
instead,
she choose a lenovo lappy.
the design nice and good lar,
but a bit heavy.
for me,
i know it is important to get a good processor and RAM all those,
but i think for a student,
weight is more important,
coz we will be carrying it around most of the time.
so i think just an average specs will be fine with me,
don't have to be too good.
i learnt my lesson from my own laptop le.
so if i am the one buying this time,
i will go for the acer one,
coz at least it is slightly lighter.
but,
it's her decision,
afterall she is the one using it.
ate pastamania for lunch until super full,
add lots of my favour cheese,
think i got even fatter after eating all those.
haha.
after that,
went back Tampines than went to geok shan house.
she is sleeping when i reach.
played sims for a while when she eating dinner.
after that,
she helped me to facial,
or rather,
i be her white mice for facial practice.
then she practice manicure on me.
she needs to work on her painting skills.
haha.
she even do until i start bleeding lor,
now my injured finger still hurts a little lor.
went home super late lor,
my mum have to end up fetching me.

-170509-
today went to YMCA.
meet polar and peeps at my hse bus-stop.
end up everyone overslept.
haha.
went to interchange meet puay suan.
she helped me collected 2 bags of recycable.
thanks a lot puay suan.
for waking up so early to pass me those stuffs,
and for helping to collect.
everyone i asked,
thow away liao.
took mrt to dhoby ghaut.
chit chatting session on the train.
i forget ez-link card at geok's hse,
and have to buy standard card.
the price a lot in difference lor.
walked to YMCA.
got 9 packets of instant noodles,
and 2kg to rice in all.
far from my expectation,
and i think we can do better if we start earlier,
and if my whole team will help.
only chen chian bought some papers.
although only one bag,
but at least she contributed.
thanks polar, chercher, and rach for begin free labour.
they don't have to do anything de,
but they helped me carry all those stuff over.
if not because of them,
i might have to take cab alone.
haha.
after that,
because all of us never have breakfast yet,
went to KFC to eat.
when we reach there,
it is still the breakfast menu,
so we sit down and wait until lunch starts.
haha.
after that,
we go cathay watch movie.
ticket super expensive lor.
$10/ticket.
watch Angel & Demon.
the movie very nice.
after that,
went to meet polar's parents.
walk walk here,
walk walk there.
then polar's parents drive us back.
so nice of them lor.
although the direction different,
they took a u-turn and drive us back.
haha.
Polar said maybe can ask her parents to donate some food supplies for my I&E,
but not because they want to,
but because of me,
"kao wo mian zi" in chinese.
but it is not confirmed.
but thanks polar,
for offering.
it meant a lot.
walked to geok's hse after that to take back me ez-link card.
went to sleep straight after i reach home.
think too tired le.

♥ My World My Life

10:58 PM

♥ Thursday, May 14, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

TO ALL NP LEVEL 2.2 STUDENTS:

ANYONE GOING TO THE 6 WEEKS SHANGHAI IMMERSION PROGRAMME & LOOKING FOR A ROOM MATE, TAG ME HERE!!

♥ My World My Life

12:54 AM

♥

My Complicate Life ♥

Ok peeps,
i AM quitting maple,
for real this time,
ok...
i really think no point for me to continue.
my level remained there like.. FOREVER...
and i can't really continue unless 120.
and polar doesn't seem to have time for me,
when her level is like up up up everytime i online.
oh well...................
i think she put others first bah....
till then,
i really don't see a point for going online.
there is nothing i can do now even if i online.

♥ My World My Life

12:45 AM

♥ Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

I feel like i am fed up with almost everyone around me.
or rather,
i feel that i am making everyone angry with me instead.
i really need someone to talk to,
but i can't seem to find one.
how pathetic can i get...

i feel like just going MIAing for a period of time.

but i don't think i even have the chance to do that...

♥ My World My Life

12:18 AM

♥

My Complicate Life ♥

Your Stress Level is: 74%

You are prone to stress, and you're probably even pretty stressed right now.

Life's problems seem to pile up on you, and this often makes you feel depressed and burned out.

Learn to take time to relax and enjoy life, even if things are stressful. It's the only way you'll get through the bad times.

I also wish i can relax.
but somehow i just cannot relax myself...

♥ My World My Life

12:13 AM

♥ Monday, May 11, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

I have a really bad day today.
I don't have enough of sleep,
my whole body ache like crazy,
and i don't have appedite for almost the whole day.
Meeting with Mr. Teo is really bad since i don't really know what the rest of the group members are planning.
i can only sit there as a figurehead leader.
i don't even know what is the point of me being there.
"You know who" talk the most as usual.
Went to old folks home after that.
it is raining,
and "you know who" whom had been there before,
and recommended that place,
got us lost.
and we practically walked in circles in the rain for quite some time.
The place is really super small,
and there is no oven.
so we have to strike out cookie making.
luckily i didn't listen and calculate all those ingredients,
all else all effort will go to waste.
i already ask "you know who" to check on the oven,
but i guess he/she forgotten.
we also didn't have ANY food supplies donator.
I suggested the YMCA LOOOOOONG TIME AGO,
but "YOU NO WHO" INSISTED ON LOOKING FOR DONATOR.
and in the what,
YMCA ending,
but NO DONATOR.
HOW??
DON'T ASK ME!
WHERE AM I SUPPOSED TO GET SO MANY PAPERS AND OLD CLOTHINGS IN SUCH SHORT TIME FOR GOODNESS SAKE!
I SAID I WILL ASK MY FRIENDS DURING MEETING,
BUT YOU THINK MY FRIENDS SO FREE MEH,
PLUS YOU THINK THEY CAN PRODUCE ENOUGH MEH?
after that went home.
have a massive headache,
maybe because my clothes and hair are kinda damp,
and i went to air-con MRT for quite long.
stand throughout the ride.
legs almost break.
went home saw Mr. Ng email.
wanted to sms piggy they all,
but i think they out in the afternoon,
so wait until evening then sms.
but i saw piggy's message from afternoon (didn't realise it),
saying she want to go for other lecture slot instead of tmr.
but there is no other slot.
smsed shine to ask they all online so can plan for the project as well as about tmr.
but none of them are available.
one outside,
one laptop got problem.
Just 2 weeks left till submission ,
and we never do anything yet.
of course i will be worried lar.
20% leh,
you think small project ah.
but i also cannot blame them lar,
need to wait teacher email,
and the online discussion is VERY impromptu.
it is not that i everytime want to tell them last minute,
but i will kinda "expect" them to be available too,
since normal the day i decided is like one day before the tutorial or submission,
and since our time table are the same,
i thought it will be easier to plan our time.
and it is normally last minute that i decided to do something,
not that i do it on purpose.
maybe i should really do some self-reflection.
maybe my way of doing makes people feels uncomfortable.
i felt like my brain cells are dying slowly as the days go by.
one problem not settle,
another came.
until now i still cannot find a room mate for the trip.
i really want to go for the trip,
coz looking at the situation now this sem,
i will really collapse next semester when 7 modules' project come together.
i will really go jump down the building.
i don't think i can handle anymore pressure.
many thinks i am doing a good job handling,
but only i myself knows that i am doing a lousy job.
it is not as easy as doing prior revision to understand what the lecturer is talking about.
i really need to sit down and listen,
only then i will only understand 30% of what he/she is saying,
and 10% left the next day.
i admit that i am really bad at studies,
i am not smart either.
so i really need that 2 modules exemption.
furthermore,
i really don't want to reach home so late anymore.
it is about normal to reach home at 7pm or even later each day,
10pm on thursday.
i want my life back,
even if there are only 6 more hours,
i will still appreciate it,
coz it means 6 more hours of rest.
sometime i really wonders if i should get any sleeping pills,
since i really can't sleep at night,
even though i might not have slept the previous night.
maybe i simply stress myself too much,
and people thinks that is totally unnecessary.
maybe i am a perfectionist,
and makes people cannot stand me.
i feel that i should stop thinking about school work,
and get previous kind of life back...
those finding room mate,
i realised that i didn't have that many friends.
maybe i should stop sticking to my old groups,
and seek out for other friends.
coz these friends will not always be available for me,
like in this situation.
i am starting to wonder,
am i not outspoken enough?
or do i simply looks "proud" like what many tell me.
but my facial expression is not something i can change.
it is my natuaral look.
i tried to change it,
but the response is always the same.
What should i do???

♥ My World My Life

11:22 PM

♥

My Complicate Life ♥

ok,
once again,
i am being ignored.
i tell EVERYONE to send me their write up to keep me informed and so i can write out a proposal.
HOWEVER,
WHO CARES ABOUT ME???
NO ONE!
i repeat,
NO ONE!
ok,
maybe except Yisheng.
he at least send me an email to tell me about his progress.
BUT WHAT DID THE REST DO???
I AM THE ONE WHO ASK FOR PROGRESS,
BUT EVERYONE EMAILED THAT "YOU KNOW WHO" INSTEAD.
i am totally fed up!
and yet again,
he/she produced a totally crappy itininary and called that stuff a "PROPOSAL".
please lar,
i am the group leader,
i am supposed to be the most up-to-date.
HOWEVER,
i am the most blur one during the meeting with teacher.
IF I AM GOING TO BE DIS-REGARD AS A GROUP LEADER,
I MIGHT AS WELL DROP MY TITLE,
AND STOP BEING A FIGURE-HEAD.
i have enough of all these lar.
when you all don't want to do something thing,
then will say "you are the group leader, so you should do".
ONLY DURING THAT TIME YOU ALL WILL REMEMBER LAR~!
I REALLY HAVE ENOUGH OF ALL THESE LAR!
IF YOU ALL ARE GOING TO KEEP ME INVISIBLE,
THEN DON'T EXPECT ME TO DO ANYTHING!
IF YOU ALL ONLY LISTEN TO "YOU KNOW WHO",
THEN I WILL GLADLY KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT,
AND FOLLOW HIS/HER LEAD.
BUT,
DON'T LATER SAY I NEVER DO ANYTHING AS A LEADER.
COZ YOU ALL NEVER LET ME TRY.

♥ My World My Life

11:12 PM

♥ Friday, May 8, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

I realised that i am really an indecisive person.
i want to go,
but i don't know whether i should go or not.
i know that if i don't go,
i will kinda regret it later,
when all the homework and projects start to pile up.
however,
i really don't want to go alone like last time,
i feel like an extra no matter which group i join into.
finally there are some friends who want to go,
but they all have partners.
what should i do?
it is really not easy to find another person to go with me.
either they do not take that module next sem or they not interested,
or they already have someone.
To go or not to go????
Go, i will feel weird and lonely like last time.
don't go, i might regret...
i know i have been pondering over the same question over the past few days,
and many of the people around me have already analyze for me,
thanks a lot peeps.
but!!
i still cannot decide.
i don't want to just get together with someone i am not so close to again.
T_T
Dilemma...
GOSH~!!!

♥ My World My Life

12:57 AM

♥ Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

Konichiwa~!

school work are stacking high.
so many to do,
so little time~~~

♥ My World My Life

10:27 PM

♥

My Complicate Life ♥

i am really irritated by you ok!
cannot stand it anymore.
every tutorial you talk non stop,
if what you ask or said is important or relevant,
i am fine with it.
however,
i cannot stand when you talk crap.
and,
you think you are being funny,
but i think you are being sacrastic and rude.
i also don't like your attitute in your work.
i have never group with you before,
but i can clearly see your lousy attitute in group work.
you put people to work,
and you play psp at one corner.
what is this?
you are the group leader somemore.
are you sure you can lead?
i am totally shocked when you volunteered to be the module rep.
i really doubt you can do a good job,
when you failed to even assign the very first tutorial after you are "chosen".
don't blame the teacher for not sending the contact list,
you can see us every single day.
you keep saying people will not want to group with you,
but did you even try to ask them,
or try to blend in?
you always want to work with that someone,
and you said you preferred pair work.
you think you so great ah,
people need 4 people to do,
you just 2 person can do it?

♥ My World My Life

10:21 PM

♥ Wednesday, May 6, 2009

My Complicate Life ♥

I might not be a perfect leader,
but i don't need you to keep reminding me.
If you want to be leader so much,
and you think you can do a better job than me,
when not write yourself as the team leader right at the beginning?
i didn't want to be leader to begin with.
you are the one who put my name down without my consent.
now i am the leader,
fine!
but you keep dominating all meetings,
do all the allocation of work,
plan all the meetings yourself,
type everything out yourself,
and you said "like this i looks like the leader".
are you trying to criticize me?
or are you trying to be sacastic?
it is not that i don't want to do anything,
but you always do things your way,
and everyone followed you.
when there is a majority,
does my words make any difference?
i want to do my job,
but you always snatch it,
and in the end i have nothing to do.
i already said i want a delay in the meeting coz i have something more important to do.
HOWEVER,
you insisted on having it as planned,
and decided on the idea yourself,
without asking me.
you even called teacher and ask him,
so there is like no way for me to rebuke on the idea.
but seriously,
i don't like the idea at all.
it is too common and lame.
i want to collect supplies through YMCA,
but you keep insisting it is taking up time,
and you want to find suppliers.
i mean,
who will want to supply things free to a nobody,
without any plans whatsoever!
my ways might require a lot of manpower,
but at least it is a guaranteed workable plan.
what if you cannot find supplier on time?
are you going to put the blame on me?
you keep insisting on the catering.
i mean,
why should we provide catering for the volunteers when we do not even have the budget?
for goodness sake,
who on earth will sponsor us?
you throw the job of looking for sponsors and suppliers to others,
why not you do it yourself since you are so confidence?
i am not going to pay a single cent!
you always say,
"i last time do this do that,
so now we should do this do that".
but did you care what i think?
i think your idea is totally lousy,
not only there is a lot of preparation work,
there is lots of work on the actual day,
and there is no fun at all.
frankly speaking,
if i am not involve in this thing,
i wouldn't participate even if there are like 1000 CCA points.
you want lots of event,
but you think it is easy ah?
giving all the work to people,
and all you do is call the place you went to last time.
you think you do a lot is it?
i want to write a full proposal for teacher and suppliers or sponsor in case they need it,
you ask me what the hell do i need to do it,
and tell me you have done it.
!@#$%^&@#$%^&@#$%^& lar
that one page thing that you send me is a proposal???
go learn what is a proposal lar.
there is nothing inside that looks like a proposal.
everything i do you think is no good,
then you think you are so good?
if i can choose again,
i will not team with you all.
the rest of the team just go blinding with you,
i not at all enthu about this team,
to be frank with you!
i don't care if you reading this or not,
i don't care!

♥ My World My Life

1:31 PM